She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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