chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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