I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
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the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
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You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
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