he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
