Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
