I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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