College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
They took my balls.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
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