at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
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it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
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Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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