erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
