a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize