Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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