HIV tests are more positive than that guy
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
