Non-Jews are for practice
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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