My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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