so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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