saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
