operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
