I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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