at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
i would punch a child for taco bell
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
