she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
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