We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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