u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Randomize
