I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
