Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
