3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
