i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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