While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I look better un-naked...
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
