What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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