Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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