the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
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