He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
You were trust falling into bushes
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
