You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Randomize
