need another drink. this is the easiest way
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
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