Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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