I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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