Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
