Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Randomize
