Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
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At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
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I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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