dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
You smell like stripper and shame
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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