i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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