now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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