It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Randomize
