All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Just high enough for therapy.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Randomize
