Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
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