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• (310): View more from California

  its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off

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• (407): View more from Florida

  also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.

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• (301): View more from Maryland

  soooo we both peed the bed last night...

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• (858): View more from California

  just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.

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• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.

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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card

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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"

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• (562): View more from California

  well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed

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• (650): View more from California

  Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.

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• (706): View more from Georgia

  fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats

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• (972): View more from Texas

  what food is Colorado known for?

  (970): View more from Colorado

  Pot brownies.

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• (409): View more from Texas

  getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'

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• (605): View more from South Dakota

  Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.

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