I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
