He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
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Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
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He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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