That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
organizing the empties. That sober.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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