I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
