Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
