i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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