I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
