So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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