if i can run in heels then i can drive
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
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