the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
