someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
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