You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I'm at about main and main street
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize