i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I checked into jail on foursquare
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
