I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Randomize
