the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
My balls are so social today.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
The feeling are messing with the penis
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
