You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Randomize
