Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
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