I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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