Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
