He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
